Friday, January 13, 2012

A Letter to My Father

My Dear Baba,

It has been several years now since you left us so suddenly, without warning.  While time fades the immediacy of the excruciating pain that comes with loss, I still miss you profoundly.  This year is no different.  You left when I was on the verge of entering my thirties, now as I enter the middle part of this decade in my life, I find myself remembering forgotten conversations made so long ago when I need your advice and wisdom.

This past year has been an active one on the life front: a new job, a marriage, a dog, a death of a beloved parent.  Though you were not here to share in the joy, and the pain, I hope you know we kept your spirit in mind and made sure to find humor in all of the above.  Perhaps that is what I miss about you the most: your humor and big hearty laugh.  I try to engage in both activities daily (I must tell you it changes one’s whole perspective), I know you would approve heartily J.

I will not be writing a long letter Baba, it is still to trying think about the large missing space your departure has left in our small family, and I personally know you were not a fan of big, fat tears.  Please know that the impact of your belief, that I have the ability to do anything exceptionally well, has been a source of enormous strength when I feel my confidence failing.  We have tried to survive the shock and tumult of your sudden passing with strength, grace, and bravery.  All of us try to live lives that will give you something to brag about to your friends in heaven.  Say hello to Jethu for me, you now have a companion to share that hearty laugh with (don’t go overboard now, heaven might not be able to handle the BOTH of you in full form).

Love your daughter,